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What’s your story?

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Today’s going to be a very good day…

Unless I start it by looking at Facebook.

When you compare you despair…

Oops.

To be fair, I didn’t actually start the day with Facebook. I started with meditation and granola. I just logged on to see a message from my uncle. An unexpected person to receive a message from. He waved at me. Huh? Ok. I waved back.

Harmless enough. Then I saw a picture my friend posted of her family on a spring break ski trip—and I promise you, I didn’t want my mind to go where it did; it just went there all on it’s own. This is what a happy family looks like. Cozy, smiling, together. This is not what my family looks like.

It might have been fine were I not feeling challenged by my own children (surly child) right now, but I am.

And so I took the bait ego/conditioning was trolling in front of me. I was hooked.

Momentarily.

It would’ve been longer if I’d chosen to linger on the story my ego/conditioning wanted me to follow. The story of how I’m doing it wrong. Damn, my mind loves loves loves that story.

Today I don’t want to. I’m on vacation in Eugene, OR with my sweetie. There is a break in the rain; a path along the river is just a few minutes away; let’s walk, I say, before the rain sets in. Rain is forecasted for the rest of the day.

I put down my computer. Set aside the unresolved thoughts stirred up by Facebook and put on my hiking boots and two coats. It’s not only rainy, but cold. And beautiful. Breathtakingly beautiful. I have a thing for mossy trees. I have a romantic notion of living in the Pacific Northwest, except, it turns out, I have a bigger thing for warm sunny days. I am enjoying the contrast. Maybe I can have a thing for the Pacific Northwest AND live where it’s sunny and 73 degrees most of the time.

A very clear message was delivered on this walk:

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The sun is such a tease today! It pops out in wee spurts between dark clouds as if to remind me, I’m never far away. And then it rains again. And then the sun pops out again. How delightful.

You are not your mind. —Eckhart Tolle

Now what was that story my mind wanted to obsess about? Oh how easy it would be to wrangle it to the ground to try and make sense of it all. Make it ok, or, I could just drop it. Follow a different thread. The sun, popping in and out. The moss on the trees, tulips blooming on every corner. This delicious chai latte I am sipping in this cozy cabin in the Pacific Northwest.

And, in case you are thinking, oh, that’s the right way to do it, be aware: it’s a trap. There is no right way to do it. This is simply the one I am choosing right now. Dropping the story.

Choosing over and over again when that story pops in and wants to take me for a ride, to drop it. Today I will get to see what happens when I don’t follow it. Some days I get to see what happens when I do follow it, and following it leads me exactly where I need to go next. Sometimes you need to wrestle with the story to get to the next place. Brilliant. Can’t do it wrong.

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Ahhhh, I sigh in relief.

How bout you? What’s your relationship to story today? Share in the comments, I’d love to hear from you. Shining a light on our stories it’s great way to get free of them.

Xo

 

4 thoughts on “What’s your story?

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