Hey boo. We’ve talked about this before. Love and discipline.
It feels like a good time to revisit it (for me anyway).
There are a good number of things that feel wonderful when I do them (or just after). Writing, moving my body — joyfully or not, breathing practices, meditation, massage, preparing & eating a healthy meal.
I do them for a while and then a little bump on the path can throw me off. And weeks may pass before I come back to these practices with consistency.
I’m not talking about big, earth shattering bumps. Everyday things, like a restless night of sleep, a headache, a long day at work. I’ve learned to become very generous with myself in these situations (perhaps the other end of the spectrum from earlier more rigid disciplined version of myself) — and do not feel this is a bad thing.
However, now I’m wondering, what might a middle way look like?
Let me back up for a moment and give you an example that is alive for me right now. Showing up here, on this page to write love letters. When I show up, somethings always steps forward to to be explored or shared. I have to show up though. Physically, with my computer open and stare at the empty page.
When I only “think” about it — often it gets put off until later. And then later. And again, later. This is especially true as I’ve given myself permission to write it “whenever” I find a moment during the week.
The thing is, for me — I have to create that moment. It helps to put it on the calendar. It helps to commit to it. Discipline helps. Showing up even when I don’t feel like it, helps. It’s a container of sorts. And it’s 100% for me.
I write for me. And then hope somewhere in the process you the reader will find yourself. Be it a sigh of relief knowing you’re not alone, a perspective you haven’t considered, or eye roll, because you think it’s all bullshit. You have seen yourself, as you are in this moment.
And that’s a wonderful thing.
So yeah, I’m curious about a middle way. A way to engage with all little things that are for me — help me feel alive and tuned in — that I get too tired or bored to do. Things that are not so much about “doing” as a way of being.
Turns out today’s reminder/love letter might be more about curiosity, asking a question and inviting the answer to find you — while you go off and do your thing.
What are you wondering about these days? What helps you show up?
I love ya boo. Sweet kisses and bear hugs coming your way.
P.S. This quote never gets old for me…
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke
This one is pretty great too…
“Self discipline is when your consciousness tells you to do something and you don’t talk back”
— W.K. Hope
p.s.s. I can’t figure out who this author W.K. Hope is! Still, their words make me smile.