Hey lover. It’s bonus Tuesday! That is if you consider a peak into my own process with regards to life’s shenanigans a bonus. I’ll leave that for you to decide.
In case you’re just tuning, check out my post yesterday.
- List three character traits which you consider undesirable.
Judgemental. Stingy. Unwilling to take responsibility. Lazy. (Yes, I know that’s four. I’m kinda extra like that).
2. Own these traits. Ooo, ouch. I know. Keep going. Allow yourself to see how you exhibit each one. Write it down.
— Let’s start with being judgemental about being judgemental. That pretty much covers it all. The pain of the original judgement. Otherwise known as unmet expectations. Thinking that something or someone or I am wrong based on some misguided stories made up in my head. Followed by the second arrow – where I beat up on (judge) myself for all the above suffering.
— Stingy you say? Oh, I can feel such time shortage consciousness. Money shortage, energy shortage. Fear of not enough. Leading to score keeping. And how about this story… if I give too much attention to this thing out there (work) there won’t be enough time/energy left for me. For what I really want to do. And I need a lot of freaking time to myself to be happy.
That’s the story anyway.
Another way I can be stingy, is in remembering the “good” stuff about me. It’s why I started writing love letters.
— You know, sometimes, I don’t wanna deal with this shit. Mine or yours. So yeah, I might choose to rewatch an entire season of Schitt’s Creek instead.
— Lazy. See above note.
Oh, that’s interesting.
3. See if you can in no way, disapprove of yourself for having those traits. This requires giving yourself unconditional love and acceptance.
Yep. I do all that. And, I’m a badass. I show up. Even if it takes a while sometimes. I’m committed to freedom and love and could find a way to reframe all the above. But here’s the thing, I, you, we, get love. No matter what. These qualities need no excuses or justifications or explanations.
They are not the whole of me, but they make up a whole me.
A whole me who is funny, and ornery, and foxy and has strong desires in this life.
How about you? Who’s the whole you? I’d sure like to meet you.
“Rejection does not lead to compassion. Compassion leads to compassion. Rejection leads to rejection.
If you see something you don’t like about the way you are and you beat yourself up for it, pretty soon you will have trained yourself to stop looking.
Congratulate yourself whenever you see something hard. It means you’re growing”. –Cheri Huber