Something interesting came up in my meditation this morning— I felt sad heavy energy. Then I watched my go to response to this feeling. Something is wrong. This is the wrong way to feel. What did I do to trigger this feeling? How do I fix it? I don’t like it. This is not how I want to feel. I just got back from a wonderful vacation and was feeling great.
The interesting part… This habitual way of thinking goes back to childhood for me AND I thought I was over it. Ha! Then I remember growing/evolving is not getting rid of or changing these parts of me. Or even my conditioned responses. It’s finding acceptance of all parts of me. Embracing all parts of me. With that, the sting of thinking that something is wrong often fades away. While I may still feel a bit blue, I also feel better. Ok with where I’m at.
Nothing to fix. Nothing to change. Oh how love this being! In this moment. Exactly as she is. And for me, this loving begins with acceptance. Allowing. Breath. Letting be (go). Not trying to be something different. Even in the face of discomfort with what is showing up in me. Even when I don’t understand. Even when it doesn’t make any sense.
And here’s the magic my love, from this soft place of being held, healing can happen. Insights come. Things may even begin to shift. I begin to understand.
The celebration of my growth in this process, is that this happened. I saw it. I choose to be with. I am soothed by this. And ok. And even a little giddy. I can feel a bit heavy and a little giddy at the same time.
In the past this could have consumed me for days, weeks, months even… I am evolving.
You are evolving. Sometimes we forget.
Where are you today my love? What do you need in this moment to feel seen and loved? If it’s too hard to find acceptance in this moment, can you find acceptance for the part of you who can’t find acceptance right now? That’s a wonderful place to start. It’s enough.
I love you. All of you. Infinity.
P.S. a sneak peak from my Hawaii vacation